Is your marriage at odds with your parenting? Do you tell your children one thing while your spouse disagrees? Inside you’ll find 3 ways to create a family team.
“They say it takes a village to raise a child. That may be the case, but the truth is that it takes a lot of solid, stable marriages to create a village.” – Diane Sollee
For a family team to succeed communication, cooperation, and companionship must be present. You are the co-captains of the family team. Like successful teams, the members must give and take, listen and contribute, decide and take action. Below are 3 ways to be effective co-captains by using communication, cooperation and companionship.
How Clear Communication in Marriage Creates the Family Team:
Not all couples discipline the same. You might think your partner is too harsh. Your partner may think you’re too easy. Let’s say you tell your kids:
“If you keep sassing, I won’t take you to the movies.” Your partner steps in,
“Hey, they’re just expressing themselves. Besides they’re just kids.” Then she says, “Don’t worry kids, I’ll take you.”
Did you hear how one parent undermined the other? Can you guess which parent the kids will favor? Can you feel the friction between the parents?
The communication solution:
As co-captains talk about discipline ahead of time. Discuss what happens when one partner undermines the other. Strike a balance between being too harsh and too lenient. Get on the same page before disciplining. Then agree to back each other up.
How Cooperation in Marriage Unites the Family Team:
My mother used to say, “Many hands make light work.” Altogether your family has many hands. Maybe your partner believes that kids should be able to play whenever they like and says:
“They’re only kids once. They’ll have to work soon enough. OK kids, run out and play.”
You’re partner turns on the TV to watch the news, leaving you to pick up the toys, make all the beds, vacuum, wash clothes, and fix the dinner.
You need to work together and share the load with your children. Otherwise, you run the risk of exploding. Let’s find out what you could do instead.
The cooperation solution:
As co-captains privately discuss the need for cooperation. Make a case for sharing the chores. Let your partner understand how chores help children learn responsibility, self-reliance, teamwork, and family closeness. Then list the chores to be done. At a family meeting divide the chores between every member in the family. Create a chart listing who does what. Then repeat and enforce the motto often, “Work before play.”
How Companionship in Marriage Strengthens the Family Team:
Let your children see you and your partner love each other. Kind words, working together, dating, laughing, and playing together help your children feel secure, happy, and grounded. They’ll love being in your family because you love each other. Why not create that rock solid marriage? If you do, you’ll be adding your family to that strong village of stable marriages.