Let me ask you a question: What have been the most important influences in your life? Wait, before you answer I bet I can guess what they all have in common: People. That’s right. A relationship is the most important course of influence you will ever experience.
Not only that, if you were to study the death bed research you would find that no one ever talks about how much money they made. They never talk about how much time they spent at work or even what they accomplished. It’s all about the times which they shared with the most important people in their life. So how can you begin to enrich the relationships in your life?
By learning how to make friends which will make you more friends.
Now surely there is more to positive influence than knowing how to make friends. I mean of course, they need to be good friends. That is why it is so important to make friends who will want to introduce you to their friends. This begins not with the type of friends you choose but with the type of person you become. You see, most of the time people are going to like you for how you make them feel when they are around you. If you want to make people feel good, you must become someone who sets a good example by who you are.
Here are a few tips for how to make friends who will make you more friends:
· Be a better listener than you are a talker
There is almost nothing better than you can do than be a good listener. People generally only listen to others knowing that is will soon be their turn to talk. While surely we all need to be heard, someone is more likely to listen to you if they know that you care enough to do the same for them. Knowing how to make friends usually requires doing things which most people just won’t. Here is a tip to being a better listener: When you are listening to someone, make sure that you turn off the dialogue which is going on in your mind. Meaning thinking about how to respond or even thinking too much about what they are saying. Why? Because if too much is going on inside your mind while you are listening to them, then you are really listening to yourself instead.
· Seek to understand people instead of trying to be right
Being right does not build relationships and it certainly won’t help you in learning how to make friends worth keeping. Sometimes we are afraid to tell people that we understand them because we somehow think that means that we are agreeing with them. Truly understanding a person is nothing more than value their perspective. Try this: The next time that you disagree with someone don’t try to persuade them. Instead, see if you can find out why they believe what they do. You may be surprised at what you will learn, and how much it will strengthen the relationship.
These are some simple yet powerful steps you can take today to learn how to make friends who will make you more friends. So write them down and put them where you can see them every day.